While I’m in the blogative mood, I’ll go ahead and lay this on you. The other day, the girlfriend and I were in Wal-Mart, see. We were walking through the aisles and I noticed a big display of Funny Color Foam. As I exclaimed in rapid, stuttered bursts that THIS was the stuff from “the website” and proceeded to tell her all about the finer points of an 80s kids bath product, she gave me the “am I really dating this kid?” face and kept walking. But I noticed there was something else sitting next to my coveted humorous hued sludge, so I stopped got my lookieloo on. Mr. Bubble and his comrades have come out with their own bath foam product. I wouldn’t necessarily call it competition to Funny Color Foam, because it’s kinda hard to think that some company would actually give a crap to compete with a product so obscure and pretty much optional. But, they did, and I bought it. And now I gotta write about it. So, I present to you, “Mr. Bubble Foam Soap.”
Mr. Bubble is a good guy. He’s always been there for us with a bottle of the pink stuff at the end of the day if we so chose to call on him. So naturally, his newfangled bath foam has to rock. Right? Wrong.
Maybe I hold Funny Color Foam on a high pedestal, but when you’ve got perfection the first go-around, there’s no need to re-invent the wheel. But still, with M. Bub’s credibility, I was willing to give it a shot. First off, I was intrigued by the top from which the foam is emitted. instead of the small hair mousse-type thing on top, it’s got something more like a whipped cream top.
It smells nothing like Mr. Bubble. In fact, it smells like chemicals and cheap perfume. It’s got a slimy residue to it and isn’t really soapy at all. But, that whipped cream bottle tip sprays out a huge glob of pink cotton candy, which I guess is pretty cool considering everything else sucks.
Basically, you could edge a cake with that stuff and no one would be the wiser. Until the trots took over, that is. The girth of the foam this thing dispenses got me to thinking. I texted Chase and asked him what the first random household item I could try to consume with foam would be. His reply was the sink. I was going for something a little smaller and funnier, but CHASE said the sink. So the sink you get.
Behold, the bathroom sink. I was skeptical that one bottle of this stuff could cover the entire sink. But, I was armed and ready to try. Afterall, I’ll never actually use this stuff. Might as well put it to science. So, I got to work laying the foundation.
Chase was specific that I cover the faucet, so I made sure to get that on my first pass just in case. At this point, I was fairly sure with half a bottle left, I could finish the outside job, but bowl of the sink would prove to be the hardest part. So, in an effort to kill two birds with one stone, I opted to put something in the bowl that would not only take up space, but destroy evidence.
With that in place, I began covering all my open spaces. I began smoothing it out, in the end, I DID IT. YES.
As my excitement began, I started jumping up and down and calling to wake the girlfriend up to say, “Remember how you never said I’d never use that bottle of Mr. Bubble foam from Wal-Mart? Well GUESS WHAT?” It was a mission complete. In your face, Chase, Justin and Kelly. I began to wipe my success away. In the end, I was left with this:
Assuming you’ve never done it before, but then again, who hasn’t, cleaning up a giant, gelatinous monster of bath foam isn’t easy. In the above photo, that’s about a quarter of the foam that came out of that little can. It expands like crazy and, the only way to get rid of it is to water it down to “melt” it. And when you’ve got enough foam to encase Aretha Franklin, it takes some time. But in the end, all the pink sludge went down the drain with my hard-earned money I spent on this crap.
I just keep telling myself it was for science.
